Eliminating the Road Block

Moving passed an offence or hurt is a difficult process sometimes and depending upon how close that person is to us often determines how deep the hurt goes. 

Do you feel blocked?  We have all struggled with being hurt and with offences.  It is part of life.  Jesus said that offences would come.  But what we do with the hurt and the offence determines our quality of life.

Moving passed an offence or hurt is a difficult process sometimes and depending upon how close that person is to us often determines how deep the hurt goes.  We have all heard that we need to forgive, we need to let go;  we have all heard that Jesus said forgive seventy  times seven, but how do we walk that out when we have been deeply hurt?

Often times while we are processing or nursing our hurt, we don’t realize what it is actually doing to us inside.  We think that we are protecting ourselves, but in reality we are actually inflicting more pain and damage upon ourselves.  We get stuck in a moment of time and our roadway becomes blocked.  We cannot not move forward with our life.

When forgiveness is hard to give, how can I  move along the path of forgiveness?  How can I stop being ROAD BLOCKED?  Exercising the skills below will eliminate the road block and enable you to move forward with the abundant life God has for you!

Objectivity
One of the hardest things to do is gain objectivity.  This is really hard when we feel like we have been unjustly treated, or that we have not been heard, or we have been misrepresented.  But if we can step back from the situation and look at it objectively, from another’s point of view we will gain understanding and empathy that will help us deal with the offense.

Ask yourself, ‘Why would they act like this?  Why would they say this?  What are they going through now that is making them respond this way?  What deficit are they functioning from?   What’s motivating their behavior? How would I act or feel if I was in their position?’

By asking ourselves these questions and learning to be objective, we position ourselves to see that person in a different light.   We will begin to have empathy and understanding for them and what they are possibly going through.  When you have gained a proper perspective, it allows you to deal with the hurt and the offense quickly.  It is easier to forgive and let go when you are coming from the position of understanding and empathy.

Looking in the Mirror
Seeing ourselves as others sees us, is a more difficult task.  It is easier to focus on the other person’s faults and shortcomings than it is to accept that possibly part of the problem lies with me.  But if we are going to process and let go of hurt, we must also take a look at ourselves objectively.  This is a necessary but painful step.  Be quick to admit when you are wrong or have wrong attitudes.

Involve the Holy Spirit
Involving the Holy Spirit is always helpful, because He is patient and kind towards us.  He will gently expose or show you the areas where you need to change.  He will often use people and conflict to bring us to a place where we are ready to receive and hear His voice.  Our growth and maturity is important to Him and He will allow us to go through things to bring about those changes.  But how we respond to the conflict will directly impact our growth and maturity.  If we don’t allow it to bring growth and maturity, He will allow us to go through more difficulties to help us grow.  Our response dictates how many times around the mountain we must go.  Learn to listen and receive from the Holy Spirit and then be quick to obey.

Controlling our Emotions
You may say, I have done all of those things, but I still feel……..
You are right!  You may still feel…….

Now is the time to exercise some spiritual backbone and maturity.  Here comes where we live by principle and not our feelings.  This is where we say, ‘My feelings are subject to the Word of God and I will live by them and not my feelings.’

Satan wants us to hold on to those hurt feelings, nurse them along, feel sorry for our self, because he knows if he can get us focusing on that we will no longer be focusing on our God-given assignments.

This is where we get to employ the Fruit of the Spirit and love the unlovely, dispense joy to the grouchy, administer peace to the restless, demonstrate longsuffering to those who try our patience.  These are all acts of our will.  We must choose to do them.  We must deliberately act!  This is where WE control our emotions and feelings.

Conflicts with people will never go away, so the quicker we learn the necessary skills to navigate through these times the happier we will be.  Instead of allowing these negative experiences to throw us into tailspins that last for weeks, months or sometimes even years.  We can bounce back from them quickly.  Our lives can be filled with love, joy and peace regularly.  We can stay focused on our God-given assignments.

Don’t loose heart!  Determine today to move forward into the life that God has waiting for you!  Move past the ROAD BLOCK!

What Do You SEE?

Eye

There are some people that we just love spending time with and then there are those who we would rather not.  Well, the Lord decided to have a little fun with me one day and gave me the opportunity to spend sometime with a challenging person.   They were thrown across my path unexpectedly, and I was challenged in my attitude.  I was like, ‘Lord, really?  This is not how I planned on spending my day.’

The Lord said, to me, ‘How do I SEE them?’  I laughed and said, ‘I know how you see them!  Very funny Lord!’  I was chuckling because I knew exactly where He was taking this conversation and encounter!

As the day continued on, I thought, ‘Why do I have to deal with this today Lord?  How much more enjoyable and restful would my day be if they were not part of it?’  Again the Lord said, ‘How do I see them?’  I laughed again and said, ‘I KNOW how you see them!  And yes, I have not chosen to see them through your eyes.  I’m sorry that I chose not to view them through your eyes of love and compassion.  Lord, I will see what you see and act accordingly.’

The Lord challenged me to see them from His eyes, His perspective.  Why are they doing and saying those things?  Where is it coming from?   Instead of taking it personally or being annoyed by it, I was challenged to show the Fruits of the Spirit -love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Galatians 5:22

I began to see them with different eyes. I saw them through their need,  and what they needed.  Not through the eyes of how they should be.  I left my expectation of their behavior at the door and just loved them where they were.

I wish I could tell you that they changed,  but they continued on throughout the week just like they always had, but somehow, it didn’t irritate me so much.  Instead of being annoyed, I just laughed and thought, ‘it’s just the way they are, it’s not my job to change them.’

I am reminded of how God loves us and displays His fruit towards us even when we don’t deserve it.  I am reminded of how patient He is to work out the unlovelies in our own lives.

Choose to see what God sees!

Blessings – Winona

Turning Love Around

Our society seems to flourish on ME.  What can you do for me?  What does your organization have to offer me?  What can I get out of this?    This seems to be a resounding theme in our culture, which is opposite to the Jesus culture that Jesus created.

In the Old Testament we were given the laws and the commandments, but in the New Testament Jesus redefined it all, He summed it all up into two commandments. ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’  There is no commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31

He made it simple for us – two things to remember!  Love Him with all of our heart, soul, strength, and mind and love our neighbors as ourselves.

We can break that command up into three questions:

  • Whom am I to love?
  • What am I to do?
  • How am I to do it?

The definition of love is:

  • to welcome, to entertain, to be fond of, to love dearly, benevolence
  • to approve of, to like, to treat affectionately or kindly, to welcome, befriend, to show signs of love, to be friendly to one, wish him well
  • To esteem, love, indicating a direction of the will and finding one’s joy in something or someone.
  • To respect, veneration, meaning to love and serve with fidelity
  • Love is caring in action.  It is an action, not a state of being.  It is a habitual action that often reflects a lifestyle. It is in the active voice which means that we carry out the action.

What does that picture look like?  How do I love my neighbors as myself? What would happen if we turned our questions around?  Turning, What can you do for me? into What can I do to help? Asking the questions, What can I do for you? or What can I give? What would happen in our homes, jobs, churches, schools, neighbourhoods if we began to ask the question, ‘what can I do’?

By changing our focus from ourselves and onto others we create an environment for fulfillment and an environment for God to work through us.  What would our impact on those around us look like if we daily became dispensers of His love and goodness?  When we create an environment for God to work, exciting things begin to happen – miracles, God moments and encounters.  Possibilities begin to open  that were not there previously. When we invest in others we take our minds off of ourselves and our problems; we begin to live much happier and more fulfilled lives.

Be a dispenser of His love and goodness!